Saturday, April 28, 2007
if only it was just a dream...

the past 5days have been hell for me.. and probably is going to be for quite some time.. how i wish it was all just a dream.. none of it felt real... till today.. til i felt all the sorries, regrets, sadness overflowing into me.. sorry pple.. now then telling you guys... my grandma just pass away.. been trying to keep things within my own control.. trying to juggle all my grief and emotions while trying to cope with the exams is hell... and now im almost at the breaking point.. how i tell myself every morning when i wake up that i just need to pull through today.. just hold it up for one more day till all of it will be over... but now i almost wanted to give up on my last paper on mon.. but i cant.. i promised my late grandma i will do well.. the least i can do is keep my promise...

a few of you been asking me if anything has happened.. thats why i only decided to post this here after i sent my grandma off... thanks for all your concerned.. very much appreciated... but guess have to slowly learn to accept this fact.. the grandma i loved so much.. and i cant even get the last glance of her before she left.. i didnt even get to greet her one more time.. how i forgot to love her... how i cant even give her 10% of my time.. how i thought she would always be there.. but not anymore.. all these regrets will be with me for a long long time...

Labels: cries

Friday, April 27, 2007
facade

had noone to blame, other than time... time is not with me..
i want to feel, but i cant..
i have to say im ok, when im not..
i want to cry out loud, but only can do that inside me...
i want my memories, but i had lost it..
most of all, i want time.. but that is already in the past..

now, i dont want anymore of such, only wish to turn back time..
back to when i can still remember... to feel, to cry, to laugh...

Labels: cries

Tuesday, April 24, 2007
my only regret

this time round just let me cry... i've lost someone so dear to me.. someone i forgot to love.. dont ask me to be strong.. i wont crumpled yet.. not till after the exams... i'm sorry people.. just let me cry to my heart content.. i wont have the chance again...

empty inside.. i cant feel anything but grief and sadness.. but i have to be a robot.. to continue doing the things i do.. the person i am... my regrets...

Labels: cries