Wednesday, April 13, 2005
the day he left me forever..

Ok. Stupid blogger is screwing up again. Just finish typing a super long entry and the blogger have to screw it up when I click publish. Now I have to retype everything again. Argh!

Was saying that this is going to be a long and boring entry. So if people get bored with reading it, then don't continue reading it. Well, this entry is in memory of one who is very dear to me and had left me.

13 April 2004 - A year ago, on this very day, I lost my most trusted and bested friend I can ever had. He is my dog-Nicky. I only had him with me for 5 short-lived years. I regretted not having spent more time with him, doted on him more and caring enough for him. He would still be here with me if it weren't for our negligence.

1 year ago, I sent him away to a place far, far away and that I will not be able to see him again. For days, I cried, missing him, thinking of him and yearning for him to come back even though I knew that was not possible. I thought nothing worse could have happened and I was at my absolute downpoint of my life.

A year later, I still miss him and thought of him from time to time. I know you all must be wondering that he was only a dog and no one should hang on to this hurt for so long. But all of you wont understand how much I loved him and to some extent I depended on him being there for me when I'm sad or happy. He accompanied me through my lonely days and when no one was there to care or understand me. What hurts me most is seeing him suffered all the pain and there is nothing I can do to alleviate the pain. I was heartbroken. From the look of his eyes, I can see that he is in great pain and the only thing I can do to make him feel better is to let him go. I can feel that he was longing to stay and he was afraid, afraid of leaving and being left behind by us. I had no choice but to let him go. The least that I can do is staying with him till the very last moment, till he fell lifeless in my arms. I cried seeing him lying on the table not moving anymore and I knew that I would never be able to see him again.

Now, I don't feel the hurt as much, but I do miss him. Maybe 'cos I have a new mate to accompany me and I'm healing. For now, I hope he is better at the other side and that I will never forget all the joy he had brought to me.

All of these are in the past, just memories to be kept forever. I had learnt to more forward. On the brighter side, at least I have Zhu Zhu/Money with me now. I will give her all the love I can. As you all can see, I'm an ultimate dog-lover. Haha

P/s: Must be wondering how come my dog's name is Zhu Zhu/Money right? Haha, well here is the story:
The previous owner named her "Money" and refused to tell my bro her name. So, we though that the dog doesn't had a name and decided to call her Zhu Zhu, since she responded to that when we called it. So now, she got 2names, but basically, she doesn't respond well to either name (maybe respond more to "Money", haha). Anyway, she seems to respond more to the word "come". Haha. Funny dog.

Ok, that is basically what I want to say and what had in mind. Till later..

-off to STUDY!!! I still miss him-